Doomed to fail: Kickstarters that’ll kick the bucket

Epic Fail (Photo credit: j.gurian)

Again, looking through kickstarter does throw up some god awful funding campaigns, lets face it for every one or two good ones, there’s going to be many real stinkers. So with that in mind, I’ve selected a few that my money is on to really fail. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a great feeling with a failed crowdfunding campaign, so I’m going to try and highlight those that don’t seem to have grasped the principle of value and why anyone should give these people money. Ever!

I WANT DRAW CAT FOR YOU

Ok, I think this one is really someone just messing around, hopefully! How it’s even got £8 is anyone’s guess. If this IS real, they really have a few issues. Either they’re a little kid, one of the “special” people, or whatever, it’s all very poor indeed! Check it out here and see it. Grinning Skulls 1/10
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/754081479/i-want-draw-cat-for-you

THREE ZOMBIES IN PHILADELPHIA

I watched both the KS promo video, and the piss poor “trailer” from this supposed funny man. Yeah you have to remember that humour is subjective. His stuff seems about as funny as Freddy Krueger working in an abortion clinic. How the hell he’s going to get his cash for this idea? Well maybe he should try selling a kidney, just don’t try making paid deposits at the sperm bank dude, there’s enough fuckwits walking around without you adding to the collected genepool. This is just shit to the power of 10. Grinning Skulls 0/10
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/565061108/three-zombies-in-philadelphia

FIFTH AND OAK

Ok, this guy seems a bit creepy, he’s looking for $3500 to make a 2-3 minute short trailer style puppet monster movie thing. Why? He thinks it would be great, I would think that lots would disagree. If the video is anything to go by, he’s a shit puppeteer as well. trust me, if you pledge money to this, your really pissing in the wind. Stop playing with puppets and get a job dude!!Norman bates scores this 1/10.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/284538043/fifth-and-oak

PRINCE MICHAEL JACKSONS FIRST ALBUM “THE MARTYRS”

This guy is seriously deluded. He thinks he’s MJ, but he’s just bad! I love the way he mentions that he wants the support of the real Jackson family, as if! The accompanying video is really surreal too, with it claiming that he’s accepted that wacko Jacko is his artistic father! The guy has even changed his name too. They let too many out on day release these days, I felt really embarrassed for him while I was watching. Cringeworthy grinning skulls 1/10
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/726034770/prince-michael-jacksons-first-album-the-martyrs

So there you have it, a few badly conceived project destined to end up on the scrap heap, let me know if you find any really funny ones!

Peace out….

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• Need to know where to go in an apocolypse? Get the Seattle Doomsday Map on Kickstarter!

Need to know where to go in an apocolypse? Get the Seattle Doomsday Map on Kickstarter!

This very cool concept over on Kickstarter is something I thought I would point out for post apoc/zombie fans, wargamers and roleplayers. Here is presented a full map of Seattle in the midst of a apocolyptic scenario, this would make a great prop, or campaign map for your zombie wargaming campaigns, or just a cool poster! It is the brainchild of Tony Dowler, the creator of this unique project  and I must say I think this is a winner as there is loads of potential uses for this. You can have the map in a variety of different formats (You can even contact him about getting the PDF in high res so you can use it with miniatures or RPGs)

This is one I will be going for I think for that very reason as it will be a great addition for my forthcoming uber campaign. I hope that he  will have a go at doing the same treatment for a whole host of cities, not only in the US but some UK and European ones as well.

I love the folding street map version too, I can see the appeal to zombie and post apoc RPGs to add  another dimension during the game, and to add some atmospheric wall dressing in your play area!

Go and check it out and see it for yourself, look on the plus side….at least you’ll know where to go if you get lost in post apocolyptic Seattle…

Seattle Doomsday Map by Tony Dowler — Kickstarter.

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