Well, well well, I thought it was time to put up a review about the latest zombie movie everyone’s been talking about (mainly for negative reasons…) World War Z.
I had seen much about this movie on the net, before even seeing the film there were plenty of rumours and spoilers that I thought were going to cloud my opinions about it beforehand. Even so I hate pretty much anything with Brad Pitt in (well, just it’s Brad Pitt I can’t stand, he’s such a floppy haired dickhead…) I thought I should at least give the zombies a try, who doesn’t love zombies? Right?
Now, I haven’t read the Max Brooks book yet, and I was waiting for the film to come out, then read them (Yeah, I’m weird like that) to compare, that way I think I will appreciate the books more, since this cinematic effort is just a dire example of what hollywood deems to be a “zombie movie” (remember Warm Bodies, that was shit too)
I must like causing myself pain and suffering, because I really did try and watch it with an open mind, I wanted to be wrong about the swarming zombie ant, liquid poured effects, the poor story and script, ropey acting from Pitt and co, but the nails in the coffin for me at least, were mentions of the word “Zombie”, I mean come on, since when in decent zombie media of any type refers to the undead using the term? Walkers, runners, munchers, biters, ghouls etc are a mark of quality, albeit some might say an extra level of realism given to the setting by thoughtful writers to create more believeability to the thing. (Not that zombies are realistic anyway, but those involved in genre dabbling should at least try!) Using the word scores minus points in my book.
Without spoiling the end for you who haven’t seen it yet, or plan to, frankly it’s utter drivel, and so ridiculously cheesy, hooray for Brad, he saves the world! Nothing downbeat and signifiying the end of the human race here, everything works out for us! Gee, thanks Brad, it sure is swell you were here! What a load of bollocks! I’m just thinking of any good points, but it’s tricky! I thought the whole idea of the genre was that there was the impending doom of survival, not this crap. As the lyric from System of a Down’s song goes: you should have never trusted Hollywood. (to make a decent movie!)
Good points: Well, like I said not too many, a few good action bits, some odd bits of destruction here and there, high point for me zombie wise was how the infected went from being bitten etc, to rising as a zomer, that was OK. Still not enough to shout about.
I must add that there were parts I found pretty boring too, and when I get board, I have a habit of messing around in cinemas and such in situations like this, but I did resist the urge this time! Could it be World War ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz……
There are just so many things I dislike about this movie and it goes without saying on subsequent watching I fear there would be more faults I could pick (but I think I’ll be watching something else)
Note to Hollywood: It does not take a massive budget and big star to make a good zombie movie, most of the biggest films of the genre were made on tiny budgets. I get that the zombie bandwagon isn’t something that you’ve had much of an opportunity to exploit fully yet, and bastardise it to oblivion, so please take a hint from the past masters in the genre.
Wouldn’t it have been better to have called the film something else, thus eliminating the need for huge amounts to have been spent on the rights to the adaptation? Cast another lesser known, or even unknown actor to play the part of the hero too. Was it justified by casting Brad Pitt and spending more money for a film thats going to bomb (It’s no classic I tell ya!) You know all he’s going to do with his cash is buy some more orphans or something! Words cannot describe how disappointing this movie actually was for me, I wanted it to be OK, alas twas not to be!
Summing up after my vitriol. It’s shit.
I feel dirty and used that I spent my money on seeing it.
Watch it and be prepared to feel abused by the might of the studios and their latest mindf**k. (And I haven’t even told you what I thought about Man of Steel yet!!)
Grinning Skull rating: 1 frowning skull (1/10)